The Daily Dialogues

Last night Jeramy and I were discussing our kids and how each of them have developed certain traits unique to themselves. We were laughing at how every day, with each individual child, we have conversations that never vary. It cracked me up as we talked about it, so I wanted to write it down before I forgot it some day. Here is a list of the exact conversations that are repeated by each child every day.

THE MORNING ROUTINE:
6:35 a.m.- Me: "Cooper, we have exactly one hour before we have to leave for school. Please go get ready for school. Get dressed, say your prayers, put on your socks and your shoes."
6:45- Me: "Cooper are you doing what I asked?"
Cooper: "I've got my pants on."
6:55- Me: "Are you ready yet?"
Cooper: "I'm putting on my shirt."
7:05- Me: "COOPER!! Why aren't you dressed yet? We have to go in a half hour and your not going to have time for breakfast!"
Cooper: "I'm coming..."
7:15 - Me: "Cooper, we have to go in 20 minutes. Please stop chatting with your brothers and eat your breakfast."
7:25- Me: "AHHHH- Cooper! We have to go in ten minutes and you still haven't touched your breakfast! HURRY, HURRY, HURRY! Then get upstairs to brush your teeth."
7:30- Me: "I'm sorry you didn't get to finish your breakfast, we do this EVERY day and it's your own fault you took so long to get ready. And yes there is time to brush your teeth. There is ALWAYS time to brush your teeth."
7:32- Me: "Are you brushing?"
Cooper: "Yes!"
Me: "Did you use Toothpaste?"
Cooper: "........."
Me: "Cooper!"
Cooper: "I will right now."
7:35- Me: "Get your lunch, your backpack and water bottle quick and get into the car please!"
7:38- Me: "Cooper! We're all in the car waiting, you are going to be late!"
7:40- LEAVE THE HOUSE
7:47- DROP HIM OFF
7:48- Me: "(Sigh...)"


Jackson is a bit different with his approach. His dialogue is centered more around repetition.

(Some time between 5:00-5:30 a.m.): Jackson: "Dad, can I play D.S.?"
Jeramy: "What? No! Do you know what time it is? Go back to bed."
6:30 a.m.: Jackson: "I got dressed, can I play D.S. now?"
Jeramy: "No, Jackson, we aren't playing it this early."
8:00 a.m.: Jackson: "Now can I play D.S.?"
Me: "No, Jackson. Please go do your chores."
9:45 a.m.: Jackson: "Now can I play D.S.?"
Me: "Did you do your chores?"
Jackson: "No."
Me: "Then, no."
2:35 p.m. (The second he gets into the car after school.) Jackson: "Now can I play D.S.?"
Me: "No"
THIS CONTINUES ON EVERY HOUR UNTIL ABOUT 7:15 P.M.- Until I finally can't take it any more. I finally give in with the stipulation: "Only for 10 minutes, because then you are going to bed."
Jackson: "YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!"
Me: "(Sigh...)"

Sawyer also has developed a conversation with me that never varies.
7:15 a.m.: Sawyer: "Can I have some candy?" (This will depend on what we have in the house at the time. Could be cookies, cake, or any assortment of treats.)
Me: "What? No. It's too early for any kind of treat."
Sawyer: "Can I have some candy after dinner tonight?"
Me: "Maybe. We'll talk about it later."
Sawyer: "Does maybe mean yes, or does it mean no?"
Me: "It means I don't know yet."
Sawyer: "Mom?"
Me: "What?"
Sawyer: "Can you just say yes?"
Me: "(Sigh...)"
THIS CONVERSATION IS REPEATED SEVERAL TIMES THROUGH OUT THE DAY ( at intervals of about an hour and a half) UNTIL DINNER TIME FINALLY COMES. AT WHICH TIME SAWYER FLAT OUT REFUSES TO EAT HIS DINNER, AND THE BITES HE DOES TRY END UP BEING GAGGED UP OR SPIT OUT ON THE TABLE.

Me: "OK, no treat for you."
Sawyer: "It's OK I don't want one anyway."
Me: "(Sigh...)"